


McLaren’s List: The 37 things Lando and Daniel are no longer allowed to do in F1 & assorted other rules.

by Mercurialfan



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, McLaren 2021, Skippy's List
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28833870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercurialfan/pseuds/Mercurialfan
Summary: In 2001 Skippy's List was published: The list consists of things that Skippy--an enlisted man in the US Army's psychological operations department--discovered were forbidden in the US Army, generally without much context as to how he found out.As it turns out, such a list works pretty well for McLaren 2021.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 78





	McLaren’s List: The 37 things Lando and Daniel are no longer allowed to do in F1 & assorted other rules.

**Author's Note:**

> For the fandom-olds: remember when every fandom had their own version of Skippy's List? Good times. So how about one for Daniel and Lando in 2021? I have no idea if this driver combo is going to live up to the hype (probably not), but one can dream.

McLaren’s List: The 37 things Lando and Daniel are no longer allowed to do in F1 & assorted other rules.

1\. No challenging other drivers to a water balloon fight, especially if the other teams a) have no idea they are being challenged, b) have no water balloons of their own, and c) if it’s during a press conference.

2\. No hiding fake frogs in Max’s car/helmet/shoes/underwear (how did you even do that?!).

3\. Lando and Daniel do NOT have access to the Pirelli tyre storage in the paddock.

4\. No dance battles during qualifying, even if (ESPECIALLY IF) neither of you got into Q3.

5\. Under no circumstances are Lando and Daniel allowed to be left unsupervised in one room with Nikita Mazepin.

6\. No adopting the stray dogs in Turkey (or any other country for that matter).

7\. ‘The Big Bad Wolff’ is not an appropriate way to refer to the Mercedes Team Principal.

8\. There is no such thing as a ‘Hyperdrive’ in F1 cars.

9\. In case of a double podium, no ganging up on the third driver on said podium.

10\. Attempting to summon demons in the paddock is not allowed.

11\. Absolutely no BBQing on track when the race is red-flagged.

12\. World Kangaroo Day is not a national holiday, and neither is it part of Daniel’s cultural heritage.

13\. It is strictly forbidden to smuggle former Red Bull drivers into the garage, i.e. Alexander Albon.

14\. A lap-dance is not an appropriate birthday gift.

15\. Roscoe is not lonely, and does not need a girlfriend.

16\. Clothes are mandatory in the paddock.

17\. Yuki Tsunoda does not need nap-time.

18\. It is not allowed to emulate ‘Pimp-my-Ride’ with your race car.

19\. No encouraging Charles Leclerc to dress in drag.

20\. ‘Talk to the hand’ is not an appropriate response when summoned to the stewards.

21\. Kimi Räikkönen is not a senior citizen.

22\. No synchronized donuts during free practice.

23\. ‘Lady Marmalade’ is not the French anthem, even if it contains a famous French phrase.

24\. It is not allowed to bribe the people in charge of playing the national anthem during the podium ceremony to play ‘Lady Marmalade’ when there is a French winner (see also #23).

25\. It is strongly discouraged to organize driver sleepovers during race weekends.

26\. Buying a chicken is not a ‘smart investment’.

27\. No recording TikToks from your crashed car before confirming you are uninjured to your team.

28\. Do not refer to Kimi Räikkönen as ‘Dad’.

29\. Do not refer to Sebastian Vettel as ‘Mom’.

30\. Responding to every team order with ‘Why?’ is not funny.

31\. No organizing a wake for Lewis Hamilton’s dead tyres.

32\. It is not allowed to lock Esteban Ocon and Pierre Gasly in a closet to help ‘solve their differences’.

33\. It is strictly forbidden to ride unicycles in the pitlane.

34\. It is not allowed to start a religion.

35\. Bernie Ecclestone is not a zombie.

36\. Conspiring to make moonshine in your driver’s room is not allowed (Daniel), even if you are not planning on drinking it (Lando).

37\. Dressing up for Halloween IS allowed, but PLEASE cover your private parts.


End file.
